This is how Anushka Sharma decided on her "look" to attend the Burberry Prorsum Womenswear SS15 show at the recently concluded London Fashion Week Spring Summer 2015 :)
(Conversation at Anushka's PR, agent, manager, image makeover guru, stylist's battleplan meet)
Anushka's PR : We gotta give some more meat to the media pronto ! From my side i have pushed those Harpers Bazaar Bridal pictures in every social media site possible, have you seen the cover ? Peeps are raaaayyyyving about it !! Even Saboo says nobody does goth in a nath better than Anushka !!
Anushka's IM Guru : What nonsense, Goth does not sell in India, Nath does ... in my opinion Anu, you should have insisted on some more Tikkas, Mor Pankh and Sarpech shit ... It is Saboo for God's sake, not some OMG designer of the moment !! .... Where is the historical or social context of those clothes ?? ... I gotta say this with tough love, but Anu you look like a curated caricature on that cover !! .... I told you to ditch trendy ... Trendy is a young frivolous and boring one night stand, not a successfully married woman like Rani .... hmphhhh :|
Anushka's Stylist : Oh commme onnn darl ! Noosh you look so instaglam my doll !! It doesn't even look like you ... You suchha kameelion babe !! ... Swear to Godd ... your eyes are all that peeps are gonna notice .... and Thank Goddd tooo .... You all think it was easy to distract the "look" from the "lips" ?
Anushka's Manager : Ay Hello ! Kya bakwas kar raha hai tu ? Arre woh Mudi ne saara gameplan change kar diya .... Some jaylass types were saying he has better lips ... You have no idea how much PR and i invested in those lips ... it sells in the news, so shaddup !
Anushka's Agent : Ok Ok stop it ! I have some super top secret news !! The Queen is about to be dethroned !!!!!!!!
(There is a silence in the room, finally Anushka speaks)
Anushka : What do you mean ? Scotland is breaking away i know, but the Queen will still be queen of England and Wales.
Anushka's Agent : Lord grant me patience !! See this is why i can't get you good movies !!! .... You are just not the Bollywood type !!!! .... You cannot sound intelligent about world affairs and still be a heroine !!!!!!! (hyperventilating)
Anushka : Arre sorry yaar, achha bolo ..... who is getting dethroned ? Rani lost a film ? Impossible !!
Anushka's Agent : Not Rani .... the Queen Kangana !! .... i hear Burberry is looking for a new Bolly Frow !!!!!!!! (claps excitedly) .... Tra la la ..... Kangana is possum and you The new Prorsum babyyyyy !!!!
(Whole room erupts excitedly)
Everybody : Good job 007, good job !! ..... Wow !! London Fashion Week is soooo cool !! ..... Everyone will be rayyyyving about you !!! ...... But this time we must get it absolutely right !! ... Ok lets put in our ideas in bullets :
1. Hide the lip, the lipstick must be nude.
2. Pull the attention furthest away from lip with contrast shoe.
3. The hair, straight with inch of root colour showing, be more normcore than edit.
4. Cover the arm flab.
5. Extra precaution with thigh high slit, remember : The Legs, not The Lips.
6. Same reason, Biiiiigggggg Bag, eyes must travel down.
7. No goth, no Indian bling ..... its Burberry .... its old, its classic.
8. Make it Pinterest classic, good for social media.
Anushka : But i really like Cara Delevigne's style .... i can see me in a Burberry trouser suit ?
Everybody : My God Anushka ! ..... Cara is lipless and has eyebrows like Krur Singh !! .... What the hell is wrong with you ? .... Do you want to be in Bollywood or not ?
And thats how Anushka ended up with that utterly boring look at the Burberry Frow ... !! .... And to think that this same intelligent sassy lady looked so glamorous even in gym wear in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi .... or as the spunky streetstyled Dilli kudi in Band Bajaa Baraat !! .... What is Bollywood doing to you Anushka ?
DSB
Disclaimer : We at DSB are solid fans of Anushka the person, no malice intended.
 |
| Anushka Sharma Burberry Prorsum Womenswear SS 15 |
(Conversation at Anushka's PR, agent, manager, image makeover guru, stylist's battleplan meet)
Anushka's PR : We gotta give some more meat to the media pronto ! From my side i have pushed those Harpers Bazaar Bridal pictures in every social media site possible, have you seen the cover ? Peeps are raaaayyyyving about it !! Even Saboo says nobody does goth in a nath better than Anushka !!
Anushka's IM Guru : What nonsense, Goth does not sell in India, Nath does ... in my opinion Anu, you should have insisted on some more Tikkas, Mor Pankh and Sarpech shit ... It is Saboo for God's sake, not some OMG designer of the moment !! .... Where is the historical or social context of those clothes ?? ... I gotta say this with tough love, but Anu you look like a curated caricature on that cover !! .... I told you to ditch trendy ... Trendy is a young frivolous and boring one night stand, not a successfully married woman like Rani .... hmphhhh :|
Anushka's Stylist : Oh commme onnn darl ! Noosh you look so instaglam my doll !! It doesn't even look like you ... You suchha kameelion babe !! ... Swear to Godd ... your eyes are all that peeps are gonna notice .... and Thank Goddd tooo .... You all think it was easy to distract the "look" from the "lips" ?
Anushka's Manager : Ay Hello ! Kya bakwas kar raha hai tu ? Arre woh Mudi ne saara gameplan change kar diya .... Some jaylass types were saying he has better lips ... You have no idea how much PR and i invested in those lips ... it sells in the news, so shaddup !
Anushka's Agent : Ok Ok stop it ! I have some super top secret news !! The Queen is about to be dethroned !!!!!!!!
(There is a silence in the room, finally Anushka speaks)
Anushka : What do you mean ? Scotland is breaking away i know, but the Queen will still be queen of England and Wales.
Anushka's Agent : Lord grant me patience !! See this is why i can't get you good movies !!! .... You are just not the Bollywood type !!!! .... You cannot sound intelligent about world affairs and still be a heroine !!!!!!! (hyperventilating)
Anushka : Arre sorry yaar, achha bolo ..... who is getting dethroned ? Rani lost a film ? Impossible !!
Anushka's Agent : Not Rani .... the Queen Kangana !! .... i hear Burberry is looking for a new Bolly Frow !!!!!!!! (claps excitedly) .... Tra la la ..... Kangana is possum and you The new Prorsum babyyyyy !!!!
(Whole room erupts excitedly)
Everybody : Good job 007, good job !! ..... Wow !! London Fashion Week is soooo cool !! ..... Everyone will be rayyyyving about you !!! ...... But this time we must get it absolutely right !! ... Ok lets put in our ideas in bullets :
1. Hide the lip, the lipstick must be nude.
2. Pull the attention furthest away from lip with contrast shoe.
3. The hair, straight with inch of root colour showing, be more normcore than edit.
4. Cover the arm flab.
5. Extra precaution with thigh high slit, remember : The Legs, not The Lips.
6. Same reason, Biiiiigggggg Bag, eyes must travel down.
7. No goth, no Indian bling ..... its Burberry .... its old, its classic.
8. Make it Pinterest classic, good for social media.
Anushka : But i really like Cara Delevigne's style .... i can see me in a Burberry trouser suit ?
Everybody : My God Anushka ! ..... Cara is lipless and has eyebrows like Krur Singh !! .... What the hell is wrong with you ? .... Do you want to be in Bollywood or not ?
 |
| Anushka Sharma at London Fashion Week SS15 |
 |
| Bollywood actress Anushka Sharma in the Burberry SS15 frow |
And thats how Anushka ended up with that utterly boring look at the Burberry Frow ... !! .... And to think that this same intelligent sassy lady looked so glamorous even in gym wear in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi .... or as the spunky streetstyled Dilli kudi in Band Bajaa Baraat !! .... What is Bollywood doing to you Anushka ?
DSB
Disclaimer : We at DSB are solid fans of Anushka the person, no malice intended.
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